R U having Super Sex?

Or are you sick of sex?

I am sick of the enemy deceiving those I love. I take it personally and frankly am not going to take it anymore.

At church, marriage conferences and even with my relatives I am seeing that women are bored, tired, and unconcerned with continuing to pursue growth in sexual intimacy with their husbands.

I think Christian couples should have the best sex on earth! We have a personal relationship with the very creator of sex. Yet, I believe, it is the most misunderstood bonus of marriage.

This misunderstanding of intimacy comes because we just let sex happen and do not become students willing to learn what we need to enhance and grow in intimacy with our spouses.

Sexual intimacy is a gift from God to every married couple for our enjoyment. There are many areas that keep us from experiencing great sex. We are often distracted by our body image; we are ashamed of our shapes. As moms , there is more in our bedrooms that belongs to others in our home and we are too busy to set our stage for this main event. When abuse, dysfunction, or misinformation plagues us, we must learn to shatter old systems and see the truth of sexual intimacy. These areas and so many more hinder us from a fulfilling sex life with our husbands.

I would love to be able to ask every married reader of this blog if they have a satisfying sex life. Then pose the same question to each husband. For the majority, based on the response I have received from the women in my life, sex is alright but not many of us are saying it is great. What’s up with that ?! Our God, who is above all and knows all created everything, including sexual intimacy and it should be ‘mm, mm, good.’

It is time for Christians to once again take ownership over sexual intimacy and allow the world to see authenticity even in our view of sexual intimacy. It’s time for us to take back what the enemy has tried to steal from us… a super sex life.

I wrote SOS: Sick of Sex with every woman I love in mind. I wrote it for women I may not personally know but are in relationships where sexual mediocrity reigns. I wrote it because I believe it is time for Christian women (and men) who enjoy sex to proclaim this with no fear or shame. I wrote it because I believe God did come to give us abundant life in every area.

It is time for Christians to fight against all that the enemy has tried to wrong with sex and bring glory and honor to God every time we are sexually intimate.

Who’s with me?

GOD’S Way…not mine (Part 1)

Raychel moving to TX

I am finding that God is always at work, caring for each detail of my life.  Putting into place things I could not have fathomed.  I am learning that God knows all and is putting things in place according to His plan, even years in advance. 

We were very comfortable in our all African American Baptist church.  Good preaching, great singing and plenty of AMENS during the sermon.  My husband, Ray, was on staff, full time as youth pastor and minister of music, I played the piano.  We were married at this same church two years prior. We loved the people, serving there and our comfortable life.

In short time, Ray began feeling uncomfortable with being comfortable.  He felt the Lord calling us to seminary in Dallas, TX.  I didn’t have the same feeling.  I was pregnant with our third child in three years and we had just bought our new little comfortable home about a year prior.

In about four months, we had moved and were settling into seminary life. 

We found another great church very comfortable setting for us…but at the request of a friend we visited his church and my husband met with his pastor for lunch later that week.  By the end of that lunch, we were praying about a ministry opportunity at this other church and knew God was asking us to make this ministry move.

This would be a very uncomfortable situation because we would be the only African American members of an all white church.  On our first visit, we were sitting behind this cute young couple.  After the first few songs, she turned and looked at us and then said to her husband, “they sing so loud!”  (She didn’t know I was just warming up.)

Ray soon became the associate pastor and minister of music at this church.  The members soon became our family (sisters and brothers from another mother – same Heavenly Father).  We soon began to understand that though the world may say that “white men can’t jump”, they could sing great gospel music and sway at the same time.

God’s call came again and we left that church with one couple to plant a church 500 miles away.  Sixteen years has passed since our first visit at the church that took us way out of our comfort zones.  Now our daughter has moved to begin her master’s studies in Dallas. 

I stand amazed watching God put His plan into action, providing for our daughter a family to live with in Dallas.  She is living with a quiet member of the alto section of that all white gospel choir that learned to clap, sway and sing. 

Twenty years ago God began working out the details of His plan for my daughter’s life now. Though this plan felt uncomfortable to me, at the time, God is revealing to me His word, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,for those who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)



The Reason

After losing my mom just a little over a month ago, having my dad come stay with us two weeks, lots of company for Thanksgiving (most of them staying in our home) and preparing for our first college graduation, things have been a little hectic for this mommy.  Hectic would be okay if the everyday chores could be put on hold.  No, grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, planning and preparation of meals, homework, taking non-drivers to work, and ALL the other things that we, as moms, do day-in and day-out, have to be done.

With black Friday and cyber Monday comes very tragic news and we are off again, to the funeral of our 21 year old nephew dying of a blood clot.

 The unexpected, the needs of each member of my family, the lists of teacher’s gifts, and so on, continues to grow.   I want the roller coaster to stop so I can get off. 

For each of us moms, there are so many additional things we must do at this time of year, yet none of the regular duties can be placed on hold.  There is one way we can come out on top of this season with our sanity intact. We must remember the reason for all that we do. 

I want God to be glorified and made known in every area of my life.  In the midst of all that may come at me, I desire to represent Christ to those around me.  Jesus, truly is, the reason for the season and everyday to come.  So, I pray for us…

                Lord, slow us down today, enough to remember that all that we say, all that we do, all that we are, all that we need is in You.  You are the reason we have breath, life and live.  May all our efforts point others to our hope in You.  In Jesus’ name, AMEN.